Trusting God’s Timing in a Season of Loss

About a month ago, my mother-in-law passed away. The following weeks have been a series of trials for my family.

Yet, through it all, I can see God’s goodness shining above the struggles.

Geri and I were scheduled to drive to Florida on January 30th to meet up with my niece and parents for some time away.

But on January 24th, Geri’s mom passed away, setting in motion a series of events that demonstrate God’s goodness amid our worldly trials

It was Saturday morning when Geri got the call that her mother had suffered a massive stroke and was taken to the hospital. Geri headed to Brethren Village, the retirement community where her parents lived, to pick up her dad and take him to the hospital.

But before they got to the hospital, her mother had passed.

Her dad sat beside her, holding her hand for quite some time. Then, instead of returning to the retirement community, he came home with us, where he would live until a room became available in assisted living.

Geri’s dad was diagnosed with dementia several years ago and has no short-term memory. He cannot live alone, so he stayed in our care while we waited for placement.

Now, one month later, I find myself reflecting on how God provided for us during that difficult season.

The loss of a loved one is never easy. But stepping back and taking a broader view helps keep things in perspective.

That weekend, heavy snow was forecast for our area. Geri’s mom passed before the storm began, and everyone was safely home before the snow fell.

Because of the forecast, I had already planned to remain in my chair throughout the storm so my attendants would not have to travel. God has blessed me with good skin integrity, and although I do not do it often, I can remain in my chair for several days without issue. I can also comfortably sleep in my chair.

So that snowy weekend, Ger’s dad could sleep in my bed, and over the following week, Geri and I took turns sleeping in the living room so that her dad always had a proper place to rest.

The following weekend, our younger son, Connor, moved into his first apartment — something he had planned months earlier.

We already missed him. But again, the timing was perfect.

For Geri’s dad to move into assisted living, he needed to have seen a doctor within sixty days prior to the move, which he hadn’t. An appointment was scheduled for the following Monday, but in the meantime, we learned that the personal care facility was experiencing a COVID outbreak, delaying his move by two weeks.

Connor’s now-empty bedroom became the perfect temporary solution. Geri’s dad stayed there until his new room became available.

Then on February 16th, we moved him into his new room.

The timing was perfect! A medium-sized room had just opened, and the admissions manager quickly reserved it for him. We filled it with familiar furniture from his former apartment — his bed, dresser, recliner, desk, nightstands, pictures, and even his collection of troll figurines — to make the space feel like home.

That first day, he sat in his recliner and said he felt relaxed and comfortable.

Praise God.

The timing of everything also allowed us to reschedule our Florida trip without major loss. We were even refunded some “non-refundable” reservations.

Had these events unfolded just a week later while we were traveling, navigating everything would have been far more difficult.

Having Geri’s dad with us for three weeks also allowed us to walk with him through the earliest days of grief.

Because of his dementia, he could not remember what had happened. He does not remember the stroke, the hospital, the viewing, the funeral, or even living in our home. Each time we gently reminded him that his wife of nearly 69 years had passed, the grief felt new to him.

Watching that repeated sorrow was difficult.

Yet even without memory retention, we could see him slowly processing. He began adapting, even if subconsciously.

Now, after nearly two weeks in personal care, he is adjusting well. He is receiving better care than he has in years — consistent meals, more exercise, and closer supervision. In hindsight, we are realizing how much Geri’s mom has been hiding from us about her condition and ability to care for herself and him.

We now think that she was experiencing mini-strokes throughout the previous year that affected her ability to adequately care for herself, and his care suffered as well. She lived in denial and hid the severity of her condition from her doctors and us.

He still misses her deeply. He still becomes emotional when reminded. But the reminders no longer end in tears. There is a quiet acceptance settling in.

Through it all, we praise God for His sovereignty and grace.

He does not always remove our trials. He does not always change our circumstances. But He walks with us through them.

God uses hardship to shape us, to teach us, and to draw us closer to Christ.

This world is not our final home. It is a place of preparation — a temporary stage in God’s eternal plan. As we fix our eyes on Him and His Word, we find that He truly is in control.

And He is where the joy is.